“We are what we repeatedly do,” Aristotle famously said. “Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” You’ve probably seen this quoted many times: schools and gyms often have it on their walls. And it’s true. Actions shape habits. Habits shape character. Character shapes destiny.
The man who doesn’t exercise because he’s deterred by the thought of hard work grows in effeminacy and shows that vice in all areas of his life. The man who develops the habit of living well below his means and investing some money each month ends up wealthy.
But you’re probably wondering how to change your habits, right? That’s the hard bit — the bit you really need to know — and motivational speeches always seem to leave it out, but here’s what you need to know.
Why habit matters
The psychologist William James gives some of the best advice on this in his chapter on habit in The Principles of Psychology (1890). To explain the plasticity of the brain, he uses the image of how once a current has ‘traversed a path’ it can ‘traverse it more readily still a second time.’ Think about rain wearing a channel into stone.
James quotes from Dr Carpenter’s Mental Physiology (1874): ‘our nervous system grows to the modes in which it has been exercised.’ That sums up the philosophy of habit.
Exercising the nervous system in this way is a powerful tool. The more habitual we can make an action, the more accurate and less fatiguing it becomes. First learning how to tie shoelaces requires great effort — so much that a young child might even have to take a break due to frustration — but then it’s easy.
Habit also means actions require less conscious attention. James gives the example of how ‘the marksman sees the bird, and, before he knows it, he has aimed and shot.’ Or you’ve probably had the experience of driving or walking a route you often take and arriving at your destination without having thought much about it.
"Habit a second nature! Habit is ten times nature," the Duke of Wellington said. As a soldier, he knew the importance of drilling and discipline. Ultimately, we must ‘make our nervous system our ally instead of our enemy.’ Virtue builds good patterns of behaviour; vice builds bad ones.
How to build better habits
From his extensive reading, James draws four practical conclusions:
First, ‘in the acquisition of a new habit, or the leaving off of an old one, we must take care to launch ourselves with as strong and decided an initiative as possible.’
Avoid people and situations that are likely to make you backslide. Instead, set yourself up for success. If you want to drink or smoke, don’t socialise with people who do.
Keep yourself busy with activities that are incompatible with your bad habits. Attend exercise classes rather than mindlessly scrolling social media.
Make a public pledge of your resolution. That will put more pressure on you.
You can also put more pressure on yourself by spending money. This is why some people benefit from getting a personal trainer of a business coach. Sure, they could probably find most of the information online for free, but they wouldn’t act on it. There is a world of difference between information and implementation. Most men know how to get strong and lean. Very few are. People usually only get serious when money — their own money — is involved.
Second, ‘Never suffer an exception to occur till the new habit is securely rooted in your life.’
He uses the image of a ball of string. Imagine you’ve been winding it up for a few minutes but then drop it. That single drop can undo hundreds of wind-ups. And it’s the same with binge eating for someone trying to lose fat. A bad weekend can easily ruin the whole week. The same goes for relapsing with porn addiction.
You must stack wins early. Failure in the early stages will sap your willpower and make you see yourself as weak, so guard against it. Success will give you momentum.
Make the change in habit as abrupt and total as you can realistically manage. If you want to start waking up at 6am rather than 8am, for example, just start doing it tomorrow. Accept that there will be some suffering involved, but that’s OK as long as you can stick with it.
If you’re very effeminate at the moment, don’t set yourself tasks that involve too much suffering. Handle some easier ones first then attack the more difficult ones later after you’re stronger.
Third, ‘Seize the very first possible opportunity to act on every resolution you make, and on every emotional prompting you may experience in the direction of the habits you aspire to gain.’
A lot of men have read the famous remark of Aristotle’s about habit and excellence but not changed their lives as a result. They’ve probably got a whole journal packed full of maxims and a heart full of fine aspirations. Yet they spin their wheels for decades.
Only ACTION involves your will and forms your habits
James quotes another psychologist, Professor Bain: “He who has no solid ground to press against will never get beyond the stage of empty gesture-making." What solid ground are you providing yourself?
Are you actually doing the exercise you want to do? Reading the books you want to read? Saving the money you want to save?
Fourth, ‘Keep the faculty of effort alive in you by a little gratuitous exercise every day.’
Every day, do something you don’t feel like doing. An extra rep in the gym. A piece of food forgone.
We must be ‘systematically ascetic or heroic in little unnecessary points.’
A drunkard is developed one drink at a time. And if vice is developed this way, so is virtue.
Every action you take is forming your habits and therefore your character and destiny.
James warns that, after age 30, character is much harder to change. By then, a man is mostly set in his ways. Without prayer and the sacraments, we are very limited. And we certainly can’t make ourselves perfect because perfection isn’t ours to give. But the man who understands the importance of habit early in life and develops himself accordingly ‘can with perfect certainty count on waking up some fine morning, to find himself one of the competent ones of his generation, in whatever pursuit he may have singled out.’
Let me know any questions you’ve got in the comments.
Spot on, Will. Your advice on hiring a fitness coach, wow, I wish I’d done it sooner. I would get lean, then fall off every time. But I found a guy online and signed up for an entire year (3 grand). Worth every penny. It’s been 5 years and I’ve never gone back to that disgusting dad bod. God Bless you
Excellent article - great to have William James referenced. Successful people will always tend to focus on their own errors or failings, and what can be learned from them, rather than blaming external forces. They then take that knowledge and strive to reinforce good habits. They have what modern psychology calls an ‘internal locus of control’. Sadly too many people nowadays have an ‘external locus of control’, and blame society, their parents, a partner, the list is endless, for their lack of both success and the sound habits needed for positive outcomes. Many thanks.