Mark came to me worried about the future of his marriage, but we saved it using my 9-step system.
Here's what happened:
1. SECOND WOMAN
Mark was the Second Woman in his marriage. Feminism had told him to abandon polarity and chase equality, so he’d become effeminate and abdicated authority. He had to learn that nothing turns women off more: even lesbians have one who’s “the man.”
2. STRESS SHARER
But he was still a Stress Sharer. He’d let his duties slide because “equality” meant his wife could take some strain. He’d whine about work, split the bill and put the burden of major decisions on his wife, including a home renovation project. This made her resent him. So to make his wife more feminine, he had to become more masculine.
3. SLOUCH ON THE COUCH
This meant killing Mark’s inner Slouch on the Couch because a man in his own way can’t lead a woman. Dodging workouts, dressing like a scruffy teenager and doubting his mission in life were all turnoffs for his wife. No woman can admire a man without a plan.
4. APPROVAL SEEKER
But Mark was still an Approval Seeker because he believe the feminist lie ‘happy wife, happy life.’ He had to learn the TRUTH instead: happy life, happy wife. Like Fight Club said, ‘we’re a generation of men who’ve been raised by women,’ and most men are like boys still trying to follow their mothers — but NO wife finds it sexy to mother her husband.
5. MAN ON A MISSION
Like most men, Mark suffered from depression (now the world’s leading cause of disability). Instead of pacifying himself with pills or porn, he had to become a Man on a Mission, meeting struggles with a smile because of his determination, focus and motivation. His wife wanted a winner, not a whiner.
6. STORM CALMER
He learnt that, in all cultures throughout history, men have been expected to procreate, protect and provide. The feminist fantasy of strong women and sensitive men is unnatural and doomed to fail. Instead of using his wife as his stress sponge, he became a Storm Calmer — the safe harbour for his wife in her emotional storms to provide boundaries and protect her from stress and anxiety.
7. CAPTAIN COMPETENT
Mark became Captain Competent and took responsibility for everything in his household. When his wife had found him unattractive in the past, he now blamed himself for his poor leadership. His competence in all areas gave him confidence in himself, and his wife’s femininity and sexual desire for him blossomed within his masculine frame.
8. HOME HERO
As the Home Hero, Mark now understands that fatherhood, as the French philosopher Gabriel Marcel put it, is a ‘hazardous conquest…achieved step by step over difficult country full of ambushes.’ He knows the family is under attack, but he leads from the front and inspires by his example. This wins the love and respect of his wife and children.
9. MARRIAGE MASTER
He realises that being a Marriage Master means continual work to excel in the cardinal virtues: prudence, justice, temperance and fortitude. They’re called ‘cardinal’ because cardo is Latin for HINGE, and he knows his marriage hinges on them. Everyday, he builds strong, masculine virtue because he realises his wife will see him as either her champion…or her child. He must lead or lose.
TLDR
Move up this 9-step marriage system to become the man of your wife’s deepest desire:
1. Second Woman
2. Stress Sharer
3. Slouch on the Couch
4. Approval Seeker
5. Man on a Mission
6. Storm Calmer
7. Captain Competent
8. Home Hero
9. Marriage Master
If you’re a Christian man struggling in marriage, click here to book a free tactical call to learn how to fix it.
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