7 Lessons in Frame Control

That I learned from a dog that could kill me

“Why do you have that dog?” I get that question a lot. And the answer is I adopted my mastiff because I wanted a challenge. It’s a pro and a con of my character that I go all-in on things. When I taught, I taught at Eton. When I got fired, I was front-page news in the Times. I’ve taken powerlifting a lot further as a hobby than most people. I’ve got seven kids. And now I’ve got the dog that Cortés conquered the Aztecs with. Unlike his, however, mine isn’t fed Aztecs.

She was rejected by a security-dog handler for being more pet than working temperament, but she’s still a lot of dog to handle. In fact, the nerviness she was rejected for probably makes her harder to handle than a more stable dog suited to work would be. And although I didn’t want a male because the testosterone adds extra stress, I ended up with a female that marks like a male (something only ~10% of females do) and will fight males given the chance.

I was expecting some tough lessons in leadership from having to exercise authority over an animal that could so easily kill me. But I wasn’t expecting so many. And I wasn’t expecting them to be so relevant to my role as a father. So I am grateful for the difficulties and the fact that ownership is a lot more management and less enjoyment compared to an easy animal.

Lesson 1: Cream rises to the top

Leadership in animal hierarchies isn’t based on appeasement or negotiation. The top wolf, lion or killer whale in the pack doesn’t bargain his way to the top. That would be bad for the pack — so bad, in fact, that the others test a weak leader. Leading properly means sending out strong signals that you are in charge so that everyone else can follow.

For a man heading a family, this means understanding that if you are not in charge then your wife will be because someone has to be. Leadership is yours to lose. And the Bible tells us that whereas part of the curse of Eve is wanting to ape the man’s authority, part of the curse of Adam is wanting to abdicate it. Feminism is a symptom of not only female but male failure. Let that sink in.