20 Keys to Masculine Communication
Marriage Tips from Pope Francis, RIP
This is all excellent advice from the late Pope Francis, RIP. What stands out to you most and why?
‘Take time, quality time.’
‘Listen patiently and attentively to everything the other person wants to say.’
‘Instead of offering an opinion or advice, we need to be sure that we have heard everything the other person has to say.’
‘Listen to the other person without mental or emotional distractions.’
‘Do not be rushed, put aside all of your own needs and worries, and make space.’
‘Develop the habit of giving real importance to the other person.’
‘Never downplay what they say or think, even if you need to express your own point of view.’
Acknowledge what she’s ‘trying to communicate, however aggressively.’
Aim to find her ‘deepest concerns and to take them as a point of departure for further dialogue.’
‘Keep an open mind.’
‘Don’t get bogged down in your own limited ideas and opinions, but be prepared to change or expand them.’
‘The combination of two different ways of thinking can lead to a synthesis that enriches both.’
‘Words should becarefully chosen so as not to offend, especially when discussing difficult issues.’
‘Making a point should never involve venting anger and inflicting hurt.’
‘A patronizing tone only serves to hurt, ridicule, accuse and offend others.’
‘Many disagreements between couples are not about important things. Mostly they are about trivial matters. What alters the mood, however, is the way things are said or the attitude with which they are said.’
‘Show affection and concern for the other person.’
‘Fearing the other person as a kind of “rival” is a sign of weakness and needs to be overcome.’
‘It is very important to base one’s position on solid choices, beliefs or values, and not on the need to win an argument or to be proved right.’
‘For a worthwhile dialogue we have to have something to say. This can only be the fruit of an interior richness nourished by reading, personal reflection, prayer and openness to the world around us. Otherwise, conversations become boring and trivial. When neither of the spouses works at this, and has little real contact with other people, family life becomes stifling and dialogue impoverished.’
This is great advice, it reminds me of St Mother Teresa's humility list, which I find inspiring as well as challenging. As a woman I would respond well to a man who took this approach, though I can see that these tips would be helpful for me to follow, too.
Brilliant advice by the Pope. Really like how a lot of it is about putting the focus on the other, making them feel heard and valued. Love the 20th key in particular.